The Deaths Of Mario
by fuckshiru
Summary: Mario dies a lot. He goes through levels dying multiple times, and he needs to find a way to prevent it.
1. Chapter 1

...It was a warm day in the Mushroom Kingdom, so Mario decided to go for a walk...

It felt really good for the Italian plumber to not have to save any princesses. But Mario definitely needs the exercise, and the fresh air. So he entered World 1-1.

**Toad: **Hey Mario, we've updated the levels. I would advise that you'd not go in here!

**Mario: **Oh, it-sa alright. I got it-a handled.

**Toad: **Hope you know what your doing.

Mario quickly ran and ended up at the first cliff, so he backed up a bit, then dashed to the cliff and tried to jump over it...

**BAM!**

Mario busted his head on an invisible block, and he sky-rocketed to the ground really fast.

* * *

><p>The next day, Mario only had 2 lives left. But he wanted to persevere through this.<p>

**Toad: **You're back here? Well if you really want to go through with this, we've set up an infinite 1up location.

**Mario: **And where is it-a?

**Toad: **On this very first part of the level. Just jump on the Koopa Shell over and over again.

By that time, Mario was already gone. He headed straight for the level as soon as Toad told them there was an infinite level spot. Mario rushed to the blocks, jumped on top, and sure enough, found himself a Koopa Shell. Mario quickly went for it and jumped on the shell repeatly.

_100, 200, 400, 800, 1000, 2000, 4000, 8000, **1up, 1up, 1up,** **1up.**_

A few hours later...

**_1up1up1up1up1up1up1up1up_**

Mario checked to see how many lives he has. There wasn't even a number! His live counter read: Crown, Coin. He had scored so many lives that the counter glitched out. So Mario quickly ran to the cliff, jump on the block, then moved himself back. He jumped on the block then made it across it.

**Mario: **Yay!

Luckily, that was the most hardest part of the level. It was just a test and the real deal was just ahead. Mario jumped to the flagpole...


	2. Chapter 2

Mario took a deep breath. He needed to be really precise with his jump to the flagpole, or else he'll mess up, like last time.

_((__**Mario: Alright, let-sa go! **_

_BAM..._

_Mario hit his balls on the top of the flagpole..._

_It took 5 hours until a Toad called an ambulance))_

Mario made a big jump toward the flagpole. It was just his first level, so he wasn't trying to score anything big. When Mario jumped, he hit the lower half of the flagpole...

**Mario: **Oops..

The lower half collapsed...

**Mario: **Oh well...

Mario made a beeline toward to the castle, but the top half fell on Mario's head, causing him to shrink in size (and get a concussion). He then walked weakly to the pipe to go to the underground level.

**Toad: **I wouldn't go down there if I were you..

But Mario ignored the Toad's warning, mostly because he was too dizzy to listen. Mario went straight down the pipe...

As Mario went down from the pipe, Mario died. There was a strong, toxic gas that was deadly by the touch, meaning that if even if Mario was in his big form, he would still die from it.

...Mario respawned at the beginning of the underground level. His life counter read: Crown, Marker. Luckily, the fog was nowhere to be seen (or inhaled).

A Toad waited at the near the bottom.

**Toad: **Watch out for the poison fog. It kills you by the touch!

Mario walked up to a group of blocks, grabbed a mushroom, and went ahead. But then Mario had an idea. He saw that there we some bricks on the top of the stage. Mario decided to jump up, on top of those bricks, and run to the end of level. Mario climbed up there with other bricks stacked on top of each other. He was on top of the level, above of all the fog traps. He had to make a few jumps, but not that much later, he was already at the pipe that takes him above ground.

Mario went straight for it. Now, he was above ground, and he saw that he has to jump over a pit to get to the flagpole...

He decide to go for it. He jumped, and..

BAM! Mario hit his head on an invisible block that was over the cliff. He fell down the bottomless pit and lost a life.

A few seconds later, Mario respawned just in front of the pipe that takes him over ground. He went into it, and when he got outside, he saw a green koopa. Mario thought, "piece of cake, right". He then hopped on top of the koopa shell. He kicked it, but it didn't go fast enough, so Mario tried to kick it again.

Mario died...

After respawning (and his life counter read: Marker, Coin), a Toad was waiting near the pipe.

**Toad: **Oh, Mario, if you touch a moving koopa shell from EITHER SIDE, you'll get hurt, so be careful.

Luckily, a koopa shell was no where to be seen. Mario jumped across the pit, and he realized that the invisible block wasn't there. He thinks it's just a glitch. He grabbed the flagpole, entered the castle, and went to the next level...


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Mario entered the next level, he panicked. He remembered that every third level in a world, had lots of pits, which Mario grown to hate. He nervously walked out the castle, and saw that he was standing on a donut platform.

**Mario: **Damn...

He jumped quickly, but... BAM! He hit his head on ANOTHER invisible block. Mario was annoyed...

**Mario: **Alright-a, stop the damn invisible block gag. It's getting old.

...Mario was surprised when he respawned on a regular ground. The part that Mario finds to be the most annoying is the inconsistencies. One minute there would be an invisible block and the next there would be regular ground again. This time, when Mario jumped, he made it, then he was about to make another jump when he saw a grenade explode right in front of him.

**Mario: **What the?

He saw another grenade explode in front of him.

Then Mario took a quick look forward and saw something...

It was a man in all brown, sporting a shell and a helmet. The man reached in his pocket, where his endless supply of grenades were. He threw another one, Mario dodged it, but Mario got hit with another one, right to the face. Mario's limbs and organs were splattered all over the bricks, blocks, ground, and platforms.

* * *

><p>When Mario respawned, a grenade exploded in front of him, costing him ANOTHER life.<p>

When he respawned (and his life counter read: marker, marker), he made a quick jump backwards, to avoid an incoming grenade. Then he took a look below him and...

He fell off the platform! And he lost ANOTHER life.

So this time when Mario respawned, he jumped forward, avoiding the grenade. He landed on another platform, and a grenade was thrown. Mario waited a few seconds...

It was a dud. Nothing happened. Mario jumped on the Koopa's head before he could throw another grenade.

As soon as he killed the koopa, he saw the flagpole was near, so Mario took a dive to get it...

But at the last moment, the top half of the pole moved to the right, causing Mario to collide with bottom half. Of course, the top part of the flagpole, fell on Mario.

But Mario... didn't feel anything. He got up, walked a few steps. Only after the third step, did something happen...

The Italian Plumber was cut in half. He felt the pain, but he wanted to muscle through it. He grabbed his other half, and crawled into the castle...

He has to persevere... Will Mario make it?


	4. Chapter 4

As Mario crawled, he lost all of his blood. He knew he wasn't going to make it, so he just layed there. Eventually... he died.

From the castle, a Toad came.

**Toad: **Mario? Are you dead? Damn...

**Toad: **If you are still here, I'm here to tell you that...

**Toad: **There is a warp room in the next level... Mario? Mario? Damn, he must be dead.

* * *

><p>Mario respawned at the checkpoint of the level. He didn't hear a single word that Toad said. He saw the flagpole was right at corner of the level, as it slowly advanced forward.<p>

**Mario: **Interesting...

This particular level, did have more inconsistencies than usual. This one was more weirder than the other ones. Mario realized the flagpole was going to the end of the level, so the Italian Plumber jumped quickly and grabbed on to it...

Doing THAT must have triggered a thing or two, because a tomahawk was thrown toward Mario's head. Luckily, the Italian Plumber moved his head at the last second. Mario noticed ANOTHER inconsistency. First the koopas were throwing grenades. Now they're throwing tomahawks.

What's worse is that Mario is in his small form. He had to take precautions... Another tomahawk was thrown at Mario. He spread his legs quickly and dodged it. The blade got stuck into the pole. Mario picked up the blade, and threw it back.

...The Koopa was reaching to get another tomahawk. But BAM! He got hit with the tomahawk, right between the eyes...

**Mario: **Yahoo! I got it!

Mario also saw a massive castle on in front of him, so he pulled the flag down and jumped off. But before he could enter, a Toad walked up to him...

**Toad: **Mario!

**Toad: **This place... is hell!

**Toad: **I would... advise you not to go in there!

**Mario: **What? That-a make no sense. You-a guys made that level.

**Toad: **Yeah, we were working on that level...

...and Bowser's military took it over. In fact, he took over ALL the castles...

and made all 8 of them his headquarters...

**Mario: **Wait, since when did Bowser have a MILITARY?

**Toad: **I don't know, but now they're suddenly shooting guns and using explosives. Be careful, Mario.

**Mario: **Let-sa go!

And the Italian Plumber went straight inside the huge castle...


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as the Italian Plumber entered the castle, he exploded, costing him another life...

Mario respawned right in front of the castle. He wondered what it was which caused him to die. He walked into the castle. He saw two red beams in front of him. He realized that he was in front of a claymore. Luckily, he wasn't close enough for it to explode. So he jumped over it.

What Mario saw next was a ? Box. The Italian Plumber jumped up and hit it.

Bam...

Mario apparently got shot in the head. He was thinking it was a sniper. Once again, he respawned in front of the castle.

But he saw that the claymore wasn't there.

**Mario: **What the hell?

The inconsistencies were starting to happen again. Mario was really annoyed, but in the least bit grateful. He went ahead.

**Toad: **Watch out for the snipers, Mario. Try running fast to avoid them.

Mario ran as fast as he could. Any sniper would have a hard time shooting him. Mario knew he was going to win untill he was gunned down by a koopa. A koopa with an assault rifle. When he respawned, he was warned by a Toad.

**Toad: **Watch out for the koopa soldiers. They carry assault rifiles.

**Mario: **What the hell-a. You just-a told me that there were snipers.

**Toad: **They changed into assault soldiers. Watch out Mario.

Mario went once more into the castle. When Mario went into the castle, the Toad dissolved into purple matter. Luckily, the Italian Plumber didn't notice it.

To be cautious, he hid behind blocks, to make sure a sniper couldn't shoot him. Mario ran cautiously to also make sure a koopa soldier couldn't shoot him. After making some progress, Mario was flabbergasted that he'd made it that far.

Mario saw that a Goomba was walking near him. So, as a reflex, he stomped on him...

The Goomba started blinking red...

Mario quickly jumped back. He realized that the Goomba was going to explode. When the Goomba DID explode, Mario was nervous again. In fact, he was scared.

Mario decided he just wanted to make it to the next checkpoint, but, paralyzed with fear, he stood there, waiting to see if something is going to attack him.

After a few seconds, Mario advanced forward. He had a serious case of checkpoint starvation. He looked left and right and occasionally guarded himself from any off screen sniper shots. Mario knew it wouldn't really help, since bullets are really strong. But it would lessen the pain, and perhaps prevent him a death.

Eventually, Mario encountered a green pipe. And by the looks of it, it seems that the pipe was very capable of going inside it. So Mario decided to go for it.

The question is, where will the pipe take him.


	6. Chapter 6

So, Mario jumped into the pipe...

Mario hoped that the pipe would take him to some sort of underground location but that wasn't the case, after a minute passed and the Italian Plumber was still falling. All Mario could see was a green wall and an occasional crack in the wall.

Mario was bored now. He's been falling for minutes... so he closed his eyes. Unfortunately, that's when he saw the exit.

THe Italian Plumber felt a breeze below. Finally, he got spat out of the pipe, and he fell so fast, he couldn't get a grasp of his surroundings. He did know one thing, though: He certainly wasn't underground, or in some sort of lair...

As a matter of fact, he was above ground for some reason. He couldn't really comprehend anything else, because he was losing oxygen, as he kept falling. Eventually, he died...

When Mario respawned, he realized that where he was, wasn't even remotely close to what a Mario level would look like.

He looked around, and he saw a waterfall in the background.

Mario never recalled any levels with a waterfall in the background. He looked some more and saw some floating, golden rings. Mario decided that those were the opposites of coins, and therefore, they might hurt him.

So finally, the Italian Plumber started walking. He saw a computer monitor with a "golden ring" symbol on it and he avoided THAT, too.

Soon enough, he encountered an enemy. The enemy was simply a robotic fish. Mario jumped on it...

And when he did, he lost a life.

When Mario respawned, he was in confusion. When he looked up, he saw a timer, a score counter, and counter that counted how many "rings" he had. It was also flashing, so Mario did a quick experiment. He ran to the robotic fish and touched the fish again. And sure enough, he lost a life.

That meant that he needed the rings to survive. Mario was pretty interested by this new feature - where you need currency to live. This time, Mario made sure to grab all the rings. And when he did, he felt invincible. He was finally making progress again. He kept going and going. Occasionally, he also found some loops and tubes, but they were no big deal since Mario could just jump over them.

Eventually, Mario made it to the end of the stage. But instead of having to pull down a flag, he had to pass a goalpost. That's it. When Mario did, a bunch of words appeared that said "MARIO HAS PASSED ACT 1". And the tally counted his rings, and his score.

Mario was finally satisfied. These levels were real easy. Really easy. There were barely any cliffs.

Instead of advancing into a cave, he advanced into a stage that looked very similar to the first level, except that the layout was different. He had no rings, but he found a monitor that had a symbol that looked like a shield. He grabbed the shield. Then, he saw a path that lead downwards. But he had to jump over some spikes. Of course Mario didn't make. Mario accidently jumped on the spikes, lost his shield, and died. He wasn't even given any invincibility frames!

Next, when respawned, he took another path downward. But because he didn't jump far enough, he thought he was going to hit his head on the wall.

But instead, he went right through it! And the he start shaking, until the whole level just scrolled him to the end.

**Mario: **Woo-hoo!

He went right past the goalpost and went to the next level...


	7. Final Chapter

Mario was finally on a level, known as "Act 3". These levels were a breeze for the plumber. It wasn't a surprise when he made it across the level unscathed.

However, he didn't see a goalpost. Instead, he saw a machine-like vehicle approach him. It also appeared that the man had a mustache, and he was overweight, too. Mario was completely confused on what to do. This guy was nothing like Bowser. He definitely had access to more technology than Mario's traditional enemy.

Mario didn't really have any time to think this through because the machine floated up in the air. It released a giant ball. The ball started swinging at Mario and he didn't know what to do. Mario tried as best as he can to avoid it because it clearly looked dangerous. When the machine lowered a bit, Mario decided to start jumping on it. It started doing damage. Eventually, when Mario hit it six times, it exploded.

But the man operating the machine was unscathed. The man was confused.

So the man exited out of his machine. He was confused.

**-Hey, you're not Sonic! You're.. that other guy!**

**Mario: **You mean as in the Italian Plumber.

Mario bowed down.

**Eggman: **Oh. Nice. My name is Eggman.

Eggman reached his hand, and Mario shook it.

**Eggman: **How are you doing?

Eggman realized that Mario was a enemy of Sonic. Eggman knew that he could strike a deal...

**Mario: **Not good-a. I've been dying a lot recently.

**Eggman: **Is there anything I could do?

**Mario: **Help-a me get through-a these levels.

**Eggman: **Alright, but I won't do it for free.

**Mario: **Alright, what do you want?

**Eggman: **Help me kill a blue hedgehog, by the same of Sonic.

Mario immediately realized who he was. It would be a pleasure for Mario to do that... So Mario said, in a deep Italian accent...

**Mario: **Deal...


End file.
